Every year at this time I get a little depressed like so many other people. For everyone else it’s the stress of the holidays or the depressing lack of sunlight. For me it’s the weight of another birthday that has come and gone with little to no change in my life. Birthdays have never been exciting to me because they have always been met with some sort of disappointment in one form or another. Either my parents would forget about them, something unforeseeable would destroy my plans, or (like this year) one of my best friends would bail on me at the last minute. No matter the reason, my birthday has always been just another day of the year.
This year, though, despite the disappointments and overall stationary position my life has taken as of late, I find myself focusing more on the beauty of the year in front of me, rather than the possible failures that could easily come my way. On my birthday every year I promise myself that things will change and that my life will become everything that I want it to be, only to find myself a year older and less on track than when the year began. I always make promises to myself, but I never seem to follow through. When I stop to think about it, I would guess that my lack of follow-through has a great deal to do with a lack of accountability on my part and my need to harp on the things that bring me down rather than the things that lift me up.
I can’t explain it, but for some reason twenty-four feels like the year when everything is going to change. I’m seeing the world differently now, and if I want this change as much as I say I do, I will not and cannot allow myself to fall into the same routines that have kept my talents at bay for this long; I cannot remain in a perpetual rut. So with this post I am allowing myself and those of you who read this to hold me accountable; to call me out on my bullshit when it is needed and to give me that extra push to achieve the things that I want and need to achieve. With this post I make a promise to you and to me to let this year, the twenty-fourth year of my life, be everything that it could and should be; to focus on the things and people who lift me up, rather than the those who pull me down.
Twenty-four is my year. And I will not allow myself to be anything less than what you and I deserve. Here’s to the days ahead!
Until next time…stay classy.
– C.M. Berry