Do you ever feel like your life is just a tower of cards that will come crashing down if you remove even one key part that maintains the foundation of the tower? Lately I’ve been thinking about how in so many cases our lives are delicately structured; not in the way I spoke of in my previous blog posts, but more so in the sense that certain eventualities are contingent upon other aspects of our lives. In order for one thing to happen, another thing must happen first.
Many of us live our lives carefully layering one thing upon another to maintain the integrity of the tower as a whole. We make decisions for the future based on the things we expect to happen and the people we expect to have around. Sadly for most of us, however, no matter how hard we try to keep the tower intact, something always manages to come out of the blue and demolish it, making a mockery of the blood, sweat, and tears we painstakingly put into the building process. In no time at all the foundation crumbles and the balance that preserved our waking lives becomes nonexistent.
I’ve come to realize in recent years that for someone like me the structure that so many of us depend on derives from the people that have been part of my life and the connections that I have made as a result. Each person plays an important role in some way; everyone from my best friends to the people I work with on a daily basis. These people are part of the foundation that keeps my world from caving in. The bonds I have formed and the connections I have made are the framework of my entire world.
With that being said, I’m left to wonder how someone like me is to proceed when a major part of the foundation is lost; when someone so important to me is no longer there and the structure that I have so carefully built begins to break apart, leaving only a jumbled mess of disconnected pieces.
Recently I’ve had to deal with the reality that nothing goes as planned and people, while they may be key pieces of a life’s foundation, don’t always stick around. Not every connection can withstand the trappings of life and more often than not, when enough key pieces are removed the tower comes crashing down.
Maybe this reality is part of what it means to grow up; to finally grasp the notion that no matter how hard we try to design our lives, the end result is hardly close to the initial design. No matter how hard we try to keep the tower intact, the reality is that we simply don’t have the power to. We can’t control every aspect of our lives; things happen that we cannot predict and people continue moving in whatever direction they were meant to. Maybe it’s not about keeping the tower intact at all, but learning how to continually build upon the rubble; to sift through the debris, collect and rebuild what we can, and construct something new from the old. Just some food for thought…
Until next time…stay classy.
– C.M. Berry