For the last few weeks I’ve been feeling very disconnected from the people and places around me. At first I thought that the disconnect was because of the overwhelming negative moods of the people in my waking life; that their darkness didn’t mesh with my light. As each day passes, however, and the people around me begin to seemingly drift further away, it’s becoming clear to me that the people aren’t drifting away from me; I’m drifting away from them.
I guess the easiest way to think about it is to imagine a human being as a parade balloon tethered to the earth by various cords held firmly in the hands of others. Each cord and the hands holding it keep the balloon in place so as not to float away. If one of the connections severs, though, it’s only a matter of time before the others must pick up the slack for their lost comrade. The problem is that if more than one connection severs at the same time, it becomes increasingly difficult for the others to maintain their hold, ultimately resulting in a balloon set adrift.
In the last few weeks there have been so many severed connections, that my mind, body, and soul have begun to take flight; they’ve begun the process of gradually lifting themselves from the ground and floating away as the remaining cords have weakened their hold. One by one the connections are falling away, eliminating every person, place, and thing that would keep me where I am.
Initially this disconnected feeling was unwelcomed and slightly jarring due to the sheer weight of the isolation and fear that it creates. After careful thought, however, I’m not so sure that this disconnect is a bad thing. If anything it’s the product of underlying discontent in my waking life, meaning that maybe it’s exactly what needs to happen in order for me to move on to bigger and better things. Maybe these severed connections are the natural progression of my life leading me away from what was and toward what will and should be. As alarming as this disconnect may be from time to time, it (like everything else) has it’s place and purpose. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see how this plays out.
Until next time…stay classy.
– C.M. Berry