Welcome to the seventh and very behind installment of The Way I “C” It. Once a week I pick three random topics to discuss and share my opinions on all three. Most of the time they won’t be anything serious and they will provide little value beyond that of entertainment and insight into my inner thoughts. As always I welcome your thoughts on each as well. Enjoy. Also if you like what you read on this post or any other make sure to “Like” my facebook page. Thanks for stopping by.
1. Child Leashes
I saw something today while I was working that really made me question my take on a very peculiar choice that some parents make: the use of leashes on children. As I stood there and watched the poor little guy struggle against the restraints of his plush captor, I wondered to myself if I could ever allow myself to degrade my child in this way. I understand the reasoning behind the leashes and I’ll openly admit that not only did my parents use them on me and my siblings, but my sister has used them from time to time on her kids as well. None of us want a child to either run off or to be taken, but isn’t there a small part of those of you who use them thinking that the leashes might be a bit much? In my mind, a leash is for a dog, not a child. Furthermore, I’m a firm believer that if you were parenting properly, you wouldn’t need a leash to keep track of your child. I understand that there are extenuating circumstances that may prevent you from being physically able to chase after a child should he or she run off, but for the rest of you I raise an eyebrow (or two) at your decision-making abilities. Maybe I see it differently because I’m not a parent; all I know is that from personal experience it is humiliating on the part of the child and should be humiliating for you as a parent as well.
2. Pet Names
Dear, Honey, Babe, Sweetheart, Etc…No matter how you dress it up, it’s still the same and I cannot for the life of me understand the use of these pet names in a relationship. Back in January I started talking to a guy who was surprisingly very interested in me and immediately he started calling me various pet names that until then I had never even thought about at length. It didn’t take long for me to realize that pet names are not an option in my relationships. No matter how I look at them, I can only see how stupid and unnecessary they are. It takes just as much effort and time to say someone’s actual name as it does to say an arbitrary name that has nothing to do with the person it was given to. To me the use of “dear” or “honey” (or any other pet name) isn’t endearing in the slightest, but rather annoying and pointless. Why would I want you to address me as “babe” when you could easily and more readily use my name? Furthermore, if you’re just getting to know me and start throwing out pet names left and right to try them on for size, you better reel that shit back in before we have a problem. I am not your sweetheart; I barely even know you. So put a lid on the name factory and stick to what you know; you’ll be better off in the long run.
3. Dating Websites
Back in December of 2011, being new to the “gay scene” and highly influenced by the words of a close friend, I made the decision to join a dating website, which was supposed to open my life up to new possibilities. In many ways it did; it gave me some perspective that I had previously lacked and allowed me to make some great friends. The problem, however, was that on this site (which is most likely similar to so many others) the majority of the people are either more interested in random sex or too focused on an imaginary ideal to actually give other people a shot. They seem to take an online profile as the entire scope of someone’s identity and immediately weed through the matches based on the shallow aspects of someone’s being. When it comes to dating and gay men in particular it becomes evident rather quickly that they want to hide behind a profile instead of stepping out and meeting people to know if there is actual chemistry there. With that being said and with interactions I have had with many of these people, I’m beginning to lean toward the traditional dating scene where we learn about each other – the good, the bad, and the ugly – through actual human interaction without the nonsense of the façade that we create in the online world. From my experience, while dating websites may be beneficial to some, they are not valuable resources for younger gay men (the only group I can really speak for in this instance) who are actually seeking something stable and substantial. They are a terrible way to get to know someone and sometimes detrimental to a person’s overall self-esteem.
What are your thoughts on any of the topics I wrote about? Are child leashes degrading to children? Are pet names really that endearing and sweet? Have you had any success with online dating? Conversely, do you have any horror stories related to it? I certainly have a few.
Until next time…stay classy.
– C.M. Berry