Shrinking Violets

“You’re not meant to be a shrinking violet.”

–          Kaden Walker (A wise and wonderful friend.)

Have you ever had one of those moments in life where you stop and think to yourself that there is no way that this is what you were meant for? I’m talking about that moment when at your core you can feel something coursing through you, telling you that you were meant for something great; a single defining feeling of surety that being ordinary isn’t in the cards for you.

I feel like this moment has come to me so many times and for some reason I can’t seem to break free of the chains that bind me to the life of mediocrity that I’m currently living. Sometimes I think to myself that I maybe just have an overinflated sense of self that deludes me into thinking I’m more than I actually am. Sometimes I think that maybe it’s ridiculous to think that I’m special; that my life is meant to stand out in a world with billions of people. Maybe it’s ridiculous to think that my life is intended to be more than what it is, but lately I’m not so sure that it’s ridiculous at all.

When I really take a moment to look at who I am at the center of my being I know without a doubt that I’m meant for something greater; that there is something inside of me that I’m meant to share. It’s a feeling that I can’t explain and it probably makes me sound pompous, but I can’t shake the certainty within me that I have so much more to give; so much more that this world needs me to do and for me to be.

I also can’t seem to shake the words of those around me, telling me that I don’t belong here; that this place should be nothing more than the image in my rearview mirror because my life would be a waste if I were to stay. With so many people questioning why I’m here doing what I’m doing, I’m beginning to question it myself; I’m beginning to finally understand why I’ve never felt at home in the world that I grew up in.

I’m someone who has always seen the bigger picture; the interconnectedness of all things on a grand scale. Granted my vision may have been blurred or obscured here and there along the way, but as I’ve grown the picture has become increasingly clear; that every life or event has a purpose. Nobody wants to hear that, though; at least not where I live. People here have become so focused on their own individual struggles that they’re jaded to the point of misery, which in turn blinds them to universal truths and hinders the potential for goodness that is at the core of each and every one of them. They spend their time stomping out the light of those around them until everyone is the same: miserable and blind.

For some inexplicable reason, however, it can’t touch me in the way it touches others. It may sting me from time to time and weaken my resolve, but it doesn’t break me. I rebound fast and come back swinging with more light than I began with. And that right there is the difference. That right there is why I don’t belong; not because I’m smarter or because I’m more talented than others. It’s because I have so much light to share and so much love to give when others have lost their way and need a helping hand. I’m not meant to be a shrinking violet; I’m meant to be more. And I will be more…soon; very soon.

Thanks for taking a ride with me on this train of thought.

Until next time…stay classy.

–          C.M. Berry

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About C.M. Berry

I'm an aspiring author, blogger, and poet fluent in sarcasm, profanity, and dark humor. I have something to say about everything and whether you love me or hate me, you'll always come back for more.
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