Welcome to the third installment of The Way I “C” It. Once a week I pick three random topics to discuss and share my opinions on all three. Most of the time they won’t be anything serious and they will provide little value beyond that of entertainment and insight into my inner thoughts. Enjoy and stay tuned for more!
1. Public Displays Of Affection
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but public displays of affection never have and never will be pleasant to the eye. I love the fact that people want to show affection toward their loved ones; if I had a boyfriend I would want to hold his hand in public. I would not, however, want to see how far down his throat my tongue can go while others are observing. There is a line that should not be crossed when it comes to this type of behavior. Holding someone’s hand or hugging someone from behind is perfectly fine and admittedly sweet in my mind, but if I have to watch you play tonsil hockey for the better part of a minute we’re going to have an issue. I don’t need to see where your sweet spots are so do us all a favor and keep your mouths apart and your loins in check. Please and thank you.
2. Baby Names
As an uncle to twelve (with two more on the way) I have become well acquainted with the name selection process. Some couples know instantly what to name their children, while others spend far more time deciding on a name than they did on the decision to conceive a child. With that being said I’m confused as to why after so much time is put into the selection process we end up with children who are named after fruits or objects we find around the house. I understand the need to stand out and to find a ‘unique’ name for your child, but at a certain point it becomes ridiculous. Do you really think that being named after a fruit or something that sounds far too much like a venereal disease will give your child a fighting chance in this world? No. In fact bullies will flock to your child like bees to honey and your little one will eventually resent you and question your decision making skills (as I do now). Don’t stray too far from the traditional names; you’re only making more work for yourself later on.
3. Excessive Swearing
I had an English teacher in sixth grade (believe it or not) who inadvertently (or so she claimed) encouraged swearing as a means of expression; to clearly establish feeling when it was needed. Granted that teacher was fired, but I digress…I think in today’s world we’ve become a little too comfortable with the idea that swearing is a socially acceptable thing. I’m no saint and when I get going I have a foul mouth; I openly admit this, but I also know what is acceptable in certain social situations. I alter my language to suit the circumstances and the people around me. I’ve noticed lately, however, that kids these days (which I never thought I would be saying at such a young age) have no concept of what is acceptable and what is not. Not only are words being tossed around when they shouldn’t, but I’m also being assaulted with an excessive amount of foul language in such short periods of time. If every other word out of your mouth is a swear word, there is a serious problem. I don’t know if you think that foul language increases your social standing or if you simply have no sense of acceptable behavior. Either way you need to bite your tongue and put a lid on it. If I’m offended by your language, chances are that everyone around me is as well. Get your shit together. You’re not as cool as you think you are.
Until next time…stay classy.
– C.M. Berry