Oddly enough I find myself sitting in bed thinking about the various idiomatic expressions that we use on a day to day basis and how utterly ridiculous most of them sound when we really stop to think about what it is that we are saying. Here are just a dozen that I know I have used in the past and hope that I’ll never use again. Enjoy.
1. A LEOPARD CAN’T CHANGE HIS SPOTS
Unless you skin him…but that’s another story entirely.
2. GIVE AN ARM AND A LEG
Let’s be serious for a minute. How many of us would actually give an arm and/or a leg for something? Can I get a show of hands? Yeah. I didn’t think so.
3. BEAT A DEAD HORSE
I understand the sentiment behind the phrase, but I am very confused by why anyone would beat a horse, be it dead or not. Where did this originate? And I hope this person was investigated thoroughly because chances are that he didn’t stop at horses.
4. BREAK A LEG
5. BUY A LEMON
What do cars have to do with lemons? Insert confused face here.
6. CHEW SOMEONE OUT
Am I the only one who finds this phrase uncomfortable? I think I’m being thrown off by the whole “chewing” aspect of it. If we’re not going in a sexual direction because of the “…someone out” part, I’m left considering the role of cannibalism in the origination of this phrase.
7. CLOSE BUT NO CIGAR
I’m trying to make the connection between success and cigars and find myself getting nowhere.
8. CUP OF JOE
I’m not quite sure who Joe is, but I’m fairly certain I don’t want a cup of him. Unless of course he has a six pack, nice eyes, and a beautiful smile, which in that case I’ll take the whole damn pot.
9. DON’T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH
I can’t decide which part of this expression makes it more puzzling: “look” or “mouth.” Either way it’s stupid.
10.EXCUSE MY FRENCH
I took six years of French and I can tell you, honey, that what you just said is NOT French.
Who is this “Josh” character and what makes him cool enough to be a verb? I hope that one day soon I can be a verb as well. Imagine the possibilities.
12.LET THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG
I actually found a cat in a trash bag once. In this instance, letting the cat out of the bag was most definitely a good idea.
Until next time…stay classy.
– C.M. Berry
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