In the last couple of days I got an unexpected positive response to my Workforce Woes blog post about the thirty biggest pet peeves of a store clerk/cashier. What I came to realize though, after much consideration and consultation with the working class is that when it comes to pet peeves thirty will simply not cut it. With that being said I have compiled another thirty pet peeves here and my thoughts on each. Again these are in no particular order and they are not indicative of any one establishment. Feel free to comment and thanks for stopping by. Enjoy.
31.COLD ITEMS LEFT OUT
Yeah I just saw what you did there so don’t act like you’re innocent. On what planet is it ok for you to leave a cold item somewhere because you don’t want it? Stop being an inconsiderate asshole and give me the damn cheese. That wasn’t so hard now was it?
32.“BUT I GAVE YOU…”
Sir, I guarantee you that you gave me a five dollar bill. I even said “out of five” so I’m not understanding where the confusion is.
33.WHISTLING/SNAPPING AT THE CASHIER
Honey, don’t you snap at me unless you want to lose a finger.
34.PLACING EVERYTHING ON THE END OF THE BELT
The entire belt is empty and there is nobody in front of you, yet you choose to only put things on the end of it and wait for it to move. How very curious…
B****, consider me the bank and this pen is a LOAN. When you say borrow I expect it back.
36.EXCESSIVE WET/PRODUCE BAGS
I’m at a loss for why every single one of your items including the cereal box is in a produce bag. Does a dry product leak on your planet? You realize that it will take me twice as long to scan everything now, right?
37.COUGHING/SNEEZING ON YOUR MONEY
I already thought you were disgusting and now you have proven me right once again. Thank you for that…and my new cold.
38.“THEY LET ME DO IT LAST TIME…”
No they didn’t.
Holy mother of God, I would hate to see what your house looks like…
You are a grown man wearing short shorts and a belly shirt. Today I saw parts of you that I never wanted to see and now I feel violated. Thank you for that.
41.USING THE CASHIER’S NAME REPEATEDLY
I’m sure that one of your self-help books told you to use someone’s name to receive better service, which was fine until you decided to use it ten times in a three minute span. You are creepy and now I feel like I need to change my name. Stop it.
Can I double bag it? I can, but I’m not understanding why you need a single loaf of bread double bagged.
Is the grocery store really the best place to be sticking your hands down your pants? Probably not. I’m sure he’s still there; there’s no need to double check.
44.ARGUING OVER WHO PAYS THE BILL
You couldn’t have decided beforehand who is paying the bill? One of you needs to shut up and pay me before I lose it.
45.“THERE’S NO WAY IT CAME TO THAT MUCH/THE TOTAL CAN’T BE RIGHT.”
Your groceries were added up by a computer calculator. Have you ever known a calculator to be wrong? I didn’t think so.
46.PUTTING ITEMS ON THE BELT WHILE THE CASHIER IS CLEANING IT
I’m fairly certain I asked you to wait a moment while I cleaned up the chicken juice from the last customer. So why is it that you are placing your fruits on a counter soaked with cleaner?
Your child is playing with the register, throwing things, and screaming obscenities. Here’s a thought: try parenting for a minute. It might do both of you some good.
48.THROWING THE MONEY
It’s really not that difficult to hand me the money. In fact it’s even considered polite in most places. Why not try it for a change?
49.“I HAVE THE CHANGE.”
You could have mentioned that BEFORE I cashed out the order.
50.SHOPPING UNTIL CLOSE
It is 10:00PM on a Monday night and you are buying two carts worth of groceries? Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!
51.CONTINUING TO SHOP AFTER THE CLOSING TIME
You didn’t hear the five announcements we made? I call bullshit on that. Contrary to popular belief I would like to go home sometime tonight.
52.LEAVING ITEMS WITHOUT TELLING THE CASHIER
An item magically appeared on my register. Watch me magically make it disappear because you didn’t have the decency to tell me you were leaving it there for a few minutes to grab other items. Or here’s a thought: grab a basket!
You just checked your balance and you KNOW you have enough? How very interesting because when I check your balance it says zero. Stop wasting my time.
I already have no idea where your money has been and now I am extremely concerned about touching it.
55.“THEY LET ME DO IT AT…”
Aww. They do? That’s really nice of them. Why don’t you go there from now on?
56.CUTTING PEOPLE IN LINE
You and I both know that you were not the next person in line so why don’t you go back to your spot and stop thinking the world revolves around you.
57.BLAMING THE CASHIER FOR A PRICE ERROR
I ring things up and bag them. I don’t control the prices. I already apologized for something that wasn’t even my fault. What more do you want from me? My first born?
58.COMPLAINTS AT THE REGISTER
Woman, this is not the complaint department. There is a reason we have a customer service desk. Use it.
59.SCREAMING/HITTING YOUR KIDS IN LINE
If your child is being unruly enough for you to take things to this level, you need to leave the store and deal with it because I sure as hell will not stand by while you hit your child in that manner.
60.PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION
Aww. You’re in love. That’s nice. Can you take your tongue out of his mouth for a moment so we can finish the order? I don’t need to watch your foreplay.
Until next time…stay classy.
– C.M. Berry
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